


tsukishima's unwritten emotions

by no_luck_luca



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Comfort No Hurt, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Minor Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi, i feel like this is kinda poetic but idk lmAO, i wrote this at 2am im sry for the mistakes lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27056935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_luck_luca/pseuds/no_luck_luca
Summary: "If he watched a sad movie, Yamaguchi would cry his eyes out. if he heard that Hinata (miraculously) didn’t fail a test, Yamaguchi would smile so much for him. If he heard that someone got engaged, it was all over. He would cry tears of happiness just thinking about it.And something about that always confused Tsukishima."//...or tsuki realizes his emotions. finally.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 83





	tsukishima's unwritten emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh. I wrote my feelings out at 2am and this is what became of it. It's probably riddled with mistakes so keep that in mind. You can always tell me, i wont get offended lol. 
> 
> thanks for clicking on it! hope you enjoy!

Tsukishima didn’t understand emotions. at all.

He couldn’t bring himself to care about the love confessions he received on Valentine's day. Whenever someone started crying, he usually just left the room. The only emotion he truly felt was frustration, which was usually directed at other people. 

Deeply feeling emotions was something he just didn’t understand. He couldn’t understand

Maybe that’s why he felt himself falling for someone who did understand. 

Tadashi Yamaguchi. Tsukishima knew him as his best friend, but there’s much more to him than that. What amazed Tsukishima was how much Yamaguchi felt towards everything.

If he watched a sad movie, Yamaguchi would cry his eyes out. if he heard that Hinata (miraculously) didn’t fail a test, Yamaguchi would smile so much  _ for _ him. If he heard that someone got engaged, it was all over. He would cry tears of happiness just thinking about it.

And something about that always confused Tsukishima. 

So when he finally figured out that the sight of a certain set of freckles always made him blush, he didn’t understand  _ why... _

It was just another feeling, just another emotion.

So why did it hurt so much?

It hurt so much when he told Tsukishima that he liked Yachi. It hurt so much when they started dating. And it hurt so much, because he  _ didn’t _ understand. And the only person he could go to for help, would be the very center of his confusion - Tadashi Yamaguchi. And that hurt.  _ So much.  _

So he didn't. He didn’t ask for help and he just suffered in silence as he watched Yachi break his best friend’s heart. He bought strawberry cake the night Yamaguchi came running to his house, tears blurring his vision. And Tsukishima dried his tears saying, “It’ll be okay Tadashi. It will be.”

**sympathy...** but he still couldn’t understand  _ why _ . 

Why did he care so much? Why did it still  _ hurt _ ?

It started to hurt less after a couple months - he had gotten used to hiding his growing feelings toward Yamaguchi. And he started to understand it more. When he saw his jump float serve work for the first time, it was like he had done it himself. 

**pride:** He didn't realize it, but he was proud of Yamaguchi because he had worked so hard for what he wanted and he finally got it. Tsukishima smiled as he watched from afar as Yamaguchi started to tear up at his success. But he still couldn’t understand why he felt the way he did. 

he listened as tadashi talked away on their walk home.  _ Tadashi always waves goodbye as he walks into his house _ , and Tsukishima smiled at that thought. In fact, he smiled the whole way home.  **happiness.** It felt as if there was nothing weighing on his shoulders, like there wasn’t hours of homework to do or a volleyball tournament coming up.

Tadashi's emotions affected his own. He stopped in the middle of the street when he realized that. 

And it was if he had new eyes looking through a lens that he didn’t know he had. Suddenly, how Tadashi felt meant a lot more to him than he thought it did. The next time he said “shut up Yamaguchi”, it didn’t have its usual punch. And if Yamaguchi noticed, he didn’t say a thing but his usual, “gomen Tsuki"

And it was comfortable, hiding his emotions like this. It was easier than entertaining the prospect that he could lose it all if he spoke up. 

But one day, it got to be too much. And he finally caved and asked for help. He asked who he thought could answer, although asking Kuroo-san at the next training camp may not have been the best idea he’s ever had - because soon, two owls and a cat knew how he felt towards his best friend, even if he didn’t outright say it. 

All he asked was if he’d ever been in love, and now they were sitting in a circle listening to how bokuto-san broke down akaashi-san’s wall with his manly emotions, whatever that meant. 

Until suddenly, he understood. He may not be as in-tune with his emotions as bokuto-san was, but he knew one thing.

He was in love with Tadashi Yamaguchi. 

And now, he said it out loud. (thoroughly interrupting Bokuto-san) and thus, the gym with only 4 teenagers in it erupted in loud noises of “finally” and “you just now figured that out”

And now, he felt like he needed to say it again. an “I love him" tumbled out of his lips before he could try to hold it in.  _ more noise.  _ and now, he just needed to tell one more person. 

**fear...** and this was the scariest part.

He didn’t even want to think of what would happen if his best friend rejected him. All he did know though, was that he has to tell him. now. it's now or never.

And so, he got up, ran out of the gym and desperately tried to find the freckled boy. He was running through the training site when he finally found his green hair sitting on a bench, all alone. 

Tsukishima ran up to him, stopping with his hands on his knees, and as he did so, Tadashi stood up, alarmed, “Tsuki are you-“ Tsukishima looked up at him and stood up tall. He brought his hand to his best friend’s jaw, and slowly leaned down. Tadashi closed his eyes and he felt as their lips met for the first time. Tadashi's hands found their way into Tsukishima’s hair, gripping at the nape of his neck. 

And Tsukishima used his fingers to gently guide his jaw, his hands becoming distracted and working their way down to his shoulders, finally resting on his hips, drawing circles there. 

And when they finally parted, in what seemed like only seconds, Tadashi was crying, because of course he was. Tsukishima smiled softly, “that went…better than expected..” Tadashi hiccuped and laughed a little, honestly. 

“Tadashi-“ but he interrupted himself by kissing him again, unable to convey his emotions in words; he barely understood them himself how would he ever be able to tell someone else. 

But when Tadashi pulled away, and looked at him with those eyes, it occurred to him that maybe he wouldn’t have to tell him - because Tsukishima was crying and for once Tadashi was the one to wipe away his tears with a “it’s okay, Kei…it’s all going to be okay."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! it means a lot to me!
> 
> ive decided that im prob only gonna write one-shots for now cause i burnout rlY quickly and i dont have the patience to write a multi-chapter omg
> 
> anyways i rlY love comments so feel free to say anything and everything, it means the world to me. :))


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